Sex, sexuality and relationships are complicated topics, it’s hard to learn all there is to know in the confines of a classroom. So, we’ve put together a list of things you may not have learnt in sex-ed…
- Always start with consent
Gaining enthusiastic consent for every sex act you engage in is essential to creating a comfortable, communicative and safe environment for yourself and your partner. Enthusiastic content is the presence of a “yes” not just the absence of a “no”.
- Sex doesn’t have to be penetrative
Sex means different things for different people. Whatever your sexual orientation or gender identity, penetration (with a penis, fingers or a toy) is not the be-all and end-all of sex. You can have great sex with a partner that includes only external stimulation and if you both like it that way, don’t feel pressure to include penetration.
- Cumming doesn’t need to be the end goal
Orgasms are complicated and often never the same twice. Lots of different things can affect your ability to cum, especially if you’re putting too much pressure on yourself or your partner to get there. Focus on being present and enjoying yourself first, the rest will come.
- Sexuality is a spectrum
Sexuality isn’t always black and white. It can take time to develop as you grow and experience more of life. Don’t feel like you have to fit neatly in a box.
Of course, sex can be great without any added extras but don’t be shy to get your favourite toy involved. And if you don’t have a favourite yet, do some research! It might be the key to unlocking a new level of fun.