Let’s Talk
Consent
Because always asking for consent is essential,
non-negotiable – and sexy.
What is consent?
Simply put, consent is permission or agreement to do something or have something done to you. In sexual contexts, consent refers to a person agreeing to take part in a sexual act. This could be anything from kissing to touching to penetration and many things in between.
Consent must be enthusiastic and freely given – think “the only yes is an enthusiastic yes”. The absence of a “no” doesn’t equal consent, and if you have to pressure or threaten someone into agreeing to something, that’s not consent either.
Consent is sexy
We told you ‘Yes’ is our biggest turn on.
You must ask for consent before engaging in any sexual activity. Sex without consent is sexual assault. Communication is sexy, and having the confidence to be open, honest and respectful is hot!
So why not have fun with it?
Once you have the knowledge, tactics and language around how to discuss consent, you’ll quickly discover that checking-in isn’t awkward, embarrassing or a buzz-kill, but a natural part of exploring and enjoying intimacy.
What are people saying?
Consent means…
‘Feeling safe to say no’
‘Communicating, listening, respecting’
‘Affirmative, enthusiastic agreement’
How do I want to be asked for consent?
‘With no judgement, and with mutual understanding’
‘Asking ‘is that ok?’ ‘Are you alright with that?’ And respecting the answer.’
‘Clearly and definitively. Asking for consent is sexy!!’
Explicitly being asked for consent makes me feel:
‘Desired and respected’
‘Respected, seen and heard’
‘Respected, safe and VERY INTO THEM!’
Don’t rush
Dressing in certain clothes, flirting or kissing is not an invitation to anything more. Remember that consenting to one thing doesn’t mean you have a green light for everything. Establishing an open line of communication and listening to your partner is key. If someone changes their mind, or doesn’t feel like going further, that’s okay! No one owes you sex, and you never owe sex to anyone.
Take ‘NO’ for an answer
Remember people can change their mind. Consent can be withdrawn at any time for any reason – or no reason at all.
We understand that rejection can be difficult, but if your partner says no, it’s essential that you stop. Yes is not a free pass, and no is not a personal rejection.
Always…
Remember that drugs and alcohol affect consent. Consent is clear and uncoerced. If you’re worried that your partner is under the influence of drugs and alcohol and may not be thinking clearly or able to give consent, wait until the morning and check in again.