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Before you’ve had it, sex can seem like a very daunting thing. Even if you have done it before, no one expects you to be an expert. In an effort to demystify sex, we’ve rounded up some common misconceptions that need to be debunked.

Sex is painful the first time.

Sex, like many things, is about communication. Making sure you and your partner are on the same page before engaging in intercourse is fundamental to a good time. Go slow, ease into it and make sure you are feeling very horny and 100% ready to minimise the level of discomfort.

Pulling out is safe.

Totally untrue. Pulling out is not safe and not recommended as your only form of contraception.  Not to mention it offers absolutely no protection from sexually transmitted infections. According to Planned Parenthood, 1 in 5 people who use the pull-out method get pregnant every year.

Condoms don’t fit me”

Don’t fall for it. If a person with a penis is telling you that condoms don’t fit them, you have our full permission to tell them that no one’s dick is that big, especially not theirs. Not only are condoms very stretchy, they also come in a multitude of sizes to fill all comfortably.

Sex has to be penetrative to pass on STIs

Nope, not even close to true. There are many sex acts that are non-penetrative that have to ability to transmit STIs through bodily fluids. Whether it’s mouth to genitals, genitals to genitals or even just hand stuff, it’s important that you get tested regularly to avoid passing STIs to your partners.

Sex is the most important part of a relationship.

This is often not the case for many couples. Although sex is fun (if you want to have it) and can be a wonderful expression of love (but also it can just be for fun) it isn’t the be-all and end-all of a relationship. Affection and emotional intimacy with a partner can take many forms and external pressure to always be having the most and the best sex is damaging and unrealistic. Whether you’re having sex every day (multiple times a day?) or are one of the hundreds of thousands of asexual people in Australia, don’t put pressure on yourself.


How effective is pulling out?, Planned Parenthood <>

Kassel, G. (2021, September 15) Yes, You Can Contract an STD Without Having Penetrative Sex, Healthline <>

Overview, The Asexual Visibility and Education Network <>