Myths About Sex: There’s Only One Way to Orgasm

Just like there’s no one way to have sex, there’s no one way to orgasm. It can be tempting to see The Big O as the main event of intimate activities. The climax of a story is arguably the most important part, after all. But it’s important to understand that putting pressure on yourself (or your partner) to orgasm during every sexual encounter is counterintuitive.

People can enjoy sex for the closeness and intimacy it provides, the joy of giving and receiving attention and pleasure, or just for the fun of it!

That said, it’s also important to understand that if orgasming is front and centre in your mind, there are many different ways to get there and different types you can experience. We’ve rounded up a key few to know…

The Clitoral Orgasm

• Most likely one you’ve heard of before; clitoral orgasms occur through clitoral stimulation. People with vulvas can experience this through manual stimulation (your hands, their hands, their tongue, etc.) or with the help of a sex toy. According to a 2015 study, over a third of women asked required clitoral stimulation to orgasm, vs. less than 1 in 5 who could reach orgasm through penetration alone.

The Vaginal Orgasm

• The vaginal orgasm occurs through stimulation via penetration. It’s less common on its own but can work well when paired with other forms of stimulation (think: clitoral, anal, nipple – or whatever floats your boat). Vaginal orgasms are described as being deeper and more intense than clitoral orgasms.

The Anal Orgasm

• It does what it says on the tin: anal orgasms are achieved through anal stimulation, whether that’s internal or external (or both!). Anal play can be daunting if you’re a newbie, but there’s no need to jump in at the deep end. Relax and take it slow, starting with external stimulation, and if you enjoy it, go from there! An anal orgasm may be on your horizon.

The Blended Orgasm

• A mix and match for the best of both worlds! Take your favourites and combine them until you find the best blend for you. Exploring your body and experimenting with different techniques, positions and toys is the best way to experience a blended orgasm, whether you’re solo or with a partner.

Non-genital Orgasms

• Yes, you read that right: it is possible to have an orgasm without any genital stimulation. Think nipples, ears, feet and beyond. Some people can even reach climax through their imagination alone. Practice makes perfect; start with things that already feel good and see how you go.

Remember, the enemy of orgasms is overthinking, so try your best to relax and know that it’s okay to call it if something is not working for you. The beauty is you can revisit failed attempts or move on to the next to find your ultimate orgasm.

If you want to experiment and explore new roads to The Big O with a partner, make sure you communicate your feelings and that your partner feels safe to do the same. Consent is essential and non-negotiable and can also be withdrawn at any time and for any reason – or no reason at all!

Happy orgasming!